When Our Emotions Go Bad!

Life has a way of dealing each and every one of us our fair share of lemons, which result in disappointments, stress, anxiety, loss of self and sometimes loss of mind. Depending on the situation; that roller-coaster ride of ups and downs can have a bad effect on our emotions. In life, I’ve definitely had my share of roller-coaster rides; whether brought on by life’s lemons or my own emotional breakdowns.

Our emotions can take a serious toll on us, it can control the way we think, how we act, how we respond and ultimately how we talk to others. Our emotions can destroy the most trusting relationships and isolate our every move; eventually holding us hostage within our own minds. But there’s HOPE, as emotions are just “negative” feelings, in which can be controlled.

If you’re finding yourself caged by emotions, then maybe the following tips below can help get you out of “The Jail of Emotions” and move towards a life of Freedom.

Talk to a Trusted Friend, Pastor or Counselor

I listed three important people here, because depending on how light or severe your emotional ride may be; talking to a trusted friend is the first step; it’s best to let someone you trust know that you have an issue with controlling your emotions; a good friend will hold you responsible for your actions by telling you the truth and not sugar-coat or sweep your issue under the rug. A Pastor is a good source as they can give you sound spiritual advice regarding your issue and could also serve as a trusted confidante. If your issues are extremely severe, a Counselor can help you identify what the emotional triggers are and offer medical alternatives.

 Act, But Don’t React!

As stated bad news will come, as it’s a natural part of life. Just because a bad emotion knocks at your door doesn’t mean you have to respond to it. You are in control of your emotions and they shouldn’t control how you react to altering situations.

 Don’t take it Personal

These four words changed my life on this year when I had a melt down over a couple of issues involving other people’s attitudes; Most of the time our emotions are caught up by things that aren’t really what they seem, you’re not the only one having a bad day; Take it into consideration that someone else may be having a bad day too and their attitude may not be necessarily directed at you but at a situation that they may be experiencing themselves during the time.

 Channel the Negative Emotion Elsewhere

This sometimes is easier said than done, as it’s not easy focusing on other things when your emotions are all over the place; but it really does help to channel that energy into something else; such as exercising, talking to a friend, meditating and journaling, going to a movie or a relaxing place such as the beach.

Just because life deals you bad lemons, doesn’t mean you have to make bad lemonade; we have the power to make the best of everything that life brings our way, including how our emotions choose to handle it.

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Why not LOVE Yourself!

I’ve experienced quite a few things in life and by the Lords Mercies and Grace, I’ve overcame quite a bit of things as well but there’s one thing that I still today (sometimes) have an issue with and that’s LOVING ME!

For a long time I was afraid of loving me because I felt like I was unlovable – My dad bailed out on me when I was young and in almost 38yrs I’ve only met him twice; once at 8 and again at 14, only to never see him again; Did he not Love Me?

I really don’t know what Love truly is, growing up with a mother whom never learned to love herself either or what true love and/or her worth really meant – didn’t make life in that department easier for me. I had my share of relationships in which didn’t produce any help as I was looking for love in all the wrong places – It was then that I realized that I really wasn’t looking for love, I was looking for someone to do a job for me that I was too afraid to do for myself – LOVE ME.

It took some years, some bumps, some UPS and many, many downs to finally get to the place in I am at now, in which came as a result of a recent break-up. I know people a.k.a women whom are looking for relationships right now; they’re looking for companionship, someone to love them, support them and lift them up when their tired hands are too weak to do so and while that’s nice, I’ve realized that there are a few things that I have to work on within my own life such as (my health, my emotions and self-care) before I even attempt to look in the direction of wanting a mate.

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Although it does get real discouraging sometimes because when you look around – most of the good men are either already taken or have been abused so badly; they wouldn’t know a good woman if she stood in front of them with a sign that said “Hey, I’m a Good Woman – Choose Me!!” they’d still keep going back to the woman that don’t mean them any good or if you did get with them, turn around and hurt you – because that’s all they know.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned on the news or scrolled the internet to see how abusive men have become in relationships, some to the point of death and if that doesn’t scare you; the many dating sites they have out right now are no better – the commercial shows you these couples whom met online and made it work, they show them laughing and holding hands and kissing each other and it looks so cute; so much so to the point that it makes you want to open an account to find a love just like they have. But, everyone is not whom they say behind the walls of the “world wide web” as anyone can make themselves out to be anyone – they can be rich, successful, driven and seem like your dream guy – they can even make themselves as handsome or as gorgeous as they want by picking a picture off of Google and Bing and placing it on their site – in which now makes the commercial you just watched a lie. Sorry, don’t mean to be the Debby Downer!

So why not LOVE YOURSELF! When we fail to do this first, then we get into situations like the one’s outlined above; When you learn to LOVE YOU and build your WORTH first, then and only then will you be able to recognize what it is you really want in a relationship, you become unwilling to accept just anything for the forsake of “just being loved by someone”. Knowing your WORTH helps you realize your full potential and who you really are; and once you know that, you will not want to just “get” with anyone whom will not care for you or love you the way that you love yourself.

2 heartsI know it’s hard to try and pray for an ABEL in what seems like a CAIN land but I really believe within my heart and spirit that if we ladies and gents learn to become married to ourselves first; then I do truly believe that God will send someone along that will marry us for real.

 

In the meantime, continue to BE YOURSELF, LOVE YOURSELF & make the song below your new THEME SONG! Because you have STRENGTH, COURAGE & WISDOM on the inside of you and no matter what goes or WHO comes along BE HAPPY WITH YOU FIRST!

 

I WANT THE WHOLE LOAF..

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Desire LIFE IN FULL not in CRUMBS

Recently, very recently – as a matter of fact just this past week; I’ve found myself in a struggle with settling for less than what I feel like I deserve. For the biggest part of my life I’ve always settled for less, scared of really asking and pushing forward to the BEST because truth be told – I never thought I deserved it. The BEST or what I call the Loaf of Bread, I felt like belonged to people whom were smarter, wiser, already had things going on for themselves or had rich parents, It seemed to the Best life was carved out in stone to belong basically to the silver-spooners not the wooden nickels.

So, instead of “reaching for the stars” I instead found a home on mediocre lane and settled there for most of my life. I had someone recently tell me; Settle for what you can right now until you get yourself together and I was literally one sec shy of writing them back and telling them; I will settle for anything at this point – but that’s usually what I always ended up doing, especially when my back is against the wall  and I fell there’s no way out. I choose to settle for the crumbs instead of desiring and/or waiting for the loaf.

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I ended up writing them back; but it wasn’t to say that I will settle, at that point I had, had enough of speaking that word. This morning in the shower for the first time in my life; I REALLY, I MEAN REALLY! Began to think about who I was and my position concerning the Lord, I began to tell God – I CAN’T SETTLE, I WON’T SETTLE! I just can’t bring myself to do it because if the Lord is strong and mighty, rich in houses and lands and has the whole wide world in his hands; if he’s the God that can say Live and you live and under the same tone say Die and you die; If he’s the man that took 2 fish and fives loaves of bread and feed over 5000 people and then some; If he’s the man that told Sarah she would have a child in her old age and she gave birth to Isaac at 90; If he’s the man that healed the sick and raised the dead; if he’s the man that turned nasty water into wine and cast out evil spirits; if he’s the man that told the disciples to cast their nets, after they had been fishing for days with no luck of catching a fish and after he spoke just one word; they caught so many fish, they probably could feed a village of people; If  he’s the man that could speak to winds and waves and they listen to him.

So, If I serve a God who can do all of that – then what more is he able to do in my life and your life; why are we settling for the crumbs when we were created to have the whole loaf of bread. Some of us have settled because we feel like we don’t deserve better because of the mistakes that has happened in our lives, so we settle for mediocrity refusing to accept the LOAF because we feel guilty about the many thing that we have either done or continue to do.

Let me tell you this – Anyone whom has accepted the Father, has accepted the WHOLE LOAF OF BREAD! So ask yourself why you are still choosing to eat the crumbs!….

I want the best car, the best house, the best husband, the best job with increase, Best does not mean Perfect, but it’s the Best that God has in store for me and for you. What are you settling for today, why be in LACK when you have a God that has your BACK! It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, he doesn’t care about that – He loves, adores and cares about you and wants you to have a FULL Course meal.

So what do you say; Would you like to have a LOAF OF BREAD?

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What a Beutiful Smile you have!

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When I was a young girl, I had trouble identifying whom I was – I knew that I came from a single mother who had suffered much abuse and neglect in her own life and because of looking for love in all the wrong places, she had me at 16. As I grew older, not really knowing my dad; I had very strong Identity issues, I wanted to become and be everyone else outside of who I was. I was ugly – this was very apparent by the taunts and bullies at school, not to mention the unnecessary fights after school that I didn’t ask for. I was afraid to look in the mirror for quite some time; all because I wasn’t ready to face the UGLY girl that everyone else identified with. Then one day, I had a teacher to tell me “What a Beautiful Smile you have” Of course I didn’t notice, I was too afraid to look in the mirror. Thank You? I said, but in my mind I was like “Was she really talking to me? After she told me that, there were countless others just like her whom told me the same thing….I would find myself smiling but hurriedly wipe it away as if I shouldn’t be doing it. And they would say, Oh No; don’t stop – Keep smiling, you have a Beautiful Smile, after hearing that I finally got the courage to look in the mirror to see exactly what they saw, A Beautiful Smile.

I may not had been the prettiest girl; but I learned to embrace the best thing I had going for myself; which was my smile, A smile has a way of bringing healing and restoring everything that was once broken down in a person’s life, it has a way of brightening every pathway and lighting every room. A smile also has a way of bringing water to a very destitute and dry place in someone’s life. Therefore that’s why this newsletter is called “Beautiful Smiles” because not only does everyone have one but with it they also have the ability to heal, nurture and restore others with just one flash of it. So don’t ever think that you don’t have anything to offer or that you don’t have any “perfect” qualities about yourself because if you have a smile ~ Then you have everything you need and more…

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